Friday, August 22, 2008


Have you ever been caught in the middle or put in an awkward situation. Makes me nuts!!!! There are three of us (church friends) that lead a small group. Well, we (I) took the summer off for several reasons. Mainly, I was just tired. The group met at my house so I felt responsible for everything and I was the only one that didn't miss a meeting. It is time for small groups to start meeting again for the fall for 10 weeks. One of the other three has agreed to host the group in her place of business which is more centrally located. I'm kinda out in the country. The other one suggested we do a Beth Moore study, however, when it comes right down to it, where the rubber mets the road, it is me that will be shelling out over $200 for materials. Now I'm not really keen on this idea but I know her studies have to be good. I've read several of her books. My deal is that although the others say they will help purchase the study materials, I will have a hard time getting the money out of them. Been there done that on books for the last study. However, I have now strayed away from my point.

My awkward situation is, another friend told me that she has used those studies in her small group. Well, the women that help me suggested I contact her and see if we could borrow her materials. I didn't want to do this but I did. Just as I figured, she has reservations about lending them out but she will think about it. I understand completly where she is coming from. I've lent out many books, tapes, etc over the years never to see them again.

There are plenty of other studies out there that are just as good but will require me to put in more effort to lead the group (because, I'm the one that winds up doing it) as far as time in study goes and to be honest with you. I don't have a lot of time right now at year end. You may be asking why the church doesn't provide the materials. The answer would be, it is easier to pull a tooth than get resources, besides if we pay for it, we don't have to have leadership approval. HUM. I just realized how that sounds. Oh, well, here I am ranting. But, really have you ever been put in such a situation?

Last night's weigh in didn't happen. I found that the meeting was futher away than I thought and in an area I didn't want to go. However, today has been a good eating day and I'm determined to make good choices this weekend.


Deborah said...

Sorry you didn't get to the meeting but I know where you are coming from when it's in a place you just don't want to go or it's too far away. Been there done that myself.

I used to get put in the middle a lot until I finally decided to not let that happen to me again. I just had to learn how to say no. That was one of the hardest things for me to do becaue I was just like you and always did it myself to not make waves or hurt any ones feelings. I feel your frustration.

MaryFran said...

I know exactly what you mean about being stuck in the middle. I've been in that position way too many times! Flat out tell them that you need the money for their part up front before you purchase.

And as for going it alone without the 'approval' of th leadership of the church......makes total sense to me (ok, so there is the preachers daughter mentality coming out in me!)

JC said...

Hey Anna B. I don't blame you for not wanting to go to certain places. I have those certain places as well. Just make good choices this weekend and go Monday. I promise it will not be as awful as you think it will be.

As for the small group thing, I feel your pain but can't offer any advice. Sounds like Deborah has the key. Just say no but I haven't gotten there yet. I like Mary Fran's idea how about telling them to meet you at the book store and ya'll make a group purchase then go out for coffee (not cake or ice cream) afterwards.

Have a great weekend.

Donna said...

It might also help to enlist one person who you know is really good at pestering people. Talk to that person one-on-one (if you trust them) and be honest about how you feel about the money. Tell them that with the economy the way it is, you really can't afford to do this again. If a second person stands up and says, "hey guys, don't forget to pay AnnaBelle, cuz it's not fair" then it doesn't sound like you're nagging them and you're not being selfish.

Just an idea... I'm kind of stuck right now because I am supposed to start leading a small group again after a summer break, but I don't really want to lead anymore and no one else will step up. Then again, if I cancel, then no one will meet. What do I do? I dunno....

I'll be praying for you!